Let the All-Star Review commence.
Wax hates everything. Currently taping vinyl siding onto his bedroom walls and listening to Urdu poetry while cutting himself (or something like that).
Baramos is an idiot, you don't need to know much about him. Once dressed up like a girl in order to infiltrate an all-female prep school, culminating in winning the lacrosse tournament with the power of friendship. Soon to be a major motion picture.
The host with the most. Currently serving 25 to life hard time for the biggest diamond heist of the century. People want to know where they're hid, but he's not talking. Heh, you'd think he was slowly formulating an intricate escape plan over ten years in order to stay under the radar (hope they don't check behind the poster on his wall). If you send him an IM he'll make you a customized license plate for free.
A furry but she's a girl so we put up with her because we're endlessly horny. Oh man do we need to get laid. It's been like forever.. Currently marking her territory by grinding herself against her car. The entire neighborhood turned out to watch. No one called the police (for some reason).
He was/is a mod or something (don't ask me why). Used to be a douchebag, he's now just an asshole. Went back in time looking for the triforce but only found extremist Ottomans waging holy war on the Western world (are you sure you went back in time, Link?) Currently trapped in the dark ages, transmitting posts through a wormhole to the modern day. If you're nice to him he'll bury some treasure so you can dig it up nine hundred years later, if he doesn't die of the black plague first (hint: take baths, Link, but don't get declared a warlock because you're healthy and everyone else is sick. That's even worse for your health). Is still hoping to find an ancient runesword forged by the sages of the past but has to put up with a pussy falchion until then.
People are always misspelling his name, it's spelled Rouge, people. ROUGE. Currently designing even more tasteful makeup for his harem of sex slaves to wear to his annual fashion extravaganza. Who says you can't be a metrosexual and still be up for an orgy now and then? Don't ask him for his opinion on anything, he'll just say it's FABULOUS every time.
Used to be a loving father of four, before one dark night made him into the grim vigilante we know and love. Currently curbstomping a poor soul for littering. Maybe next time you'll put that toothpick in the trash can where it belongs, won't you, punk? Whoops! You don't need a toothpick! EVER AGAIN.
Is a mod for some reason, but I'm not complaining (Note: I'm complaining). Currently retired from his job as host of children's public television show DESIGN WORLD, now a raving alcoholic. He used to help kids learn their numbers, now he just helps them learn the numbers on his license plate after he drives away after yet another failed attempt to lure them with sweet, sweet candy. Can he pay his elecric bill this month? Tune into news at six to find out (spoiler: he doesn't, and he "takes everyone with him". What a nice guy, taking them on a trip with him. Right?
Wears a Crono Halloween costume year-round (and in bed). Currently winning Philly cheese steak eating contests in between posting on the internet. Six bypasses are nothing next to the glory of holding that cup. If you talk with him, be prepared to have him not realize that Lavos is a spaceship and that's just a damn fact dammit Cronoboy dammit! Still thinks the CTNP is a good idea, God help him.
He's Canadian, but let's not dislike him for this disability. He's handicapable. Currrently attempting to overthrow the bourgeosie to allow for the rise of the industrial proletariat, but the fascist capitalists are breaking up his labor strikes with police action. Fight on for the collective! Fight on for the coming revolution!
THE VAMPIRIC ANGEL
Also is a mod, like that's important, I don't think that's tha great, seriously (Note: I think that's great, seriously). Has had like twenty different names, he's a master of disguise. Currently a Limey Brit Kiwi Canuck or something. Rode Stewball to victory through twenty feet of snow while suffering from meningitis or something (man that ballad gets added to every other day). Designed a new version of bangers and mash using frankfurters and sweet potatoes. Has yet to catch on.
Secretly a 10 year old girl. This makes everything he says even creepier than you would normally expect it to be. Currently playing DnD WITH VIN DIESEL!
Better known as EL JEFE MUSTACHO, lucha libre wrestling champion six years running. Haha, just kidding, that would be cool. Currently trying to get with this girl but she's like not into him and he's not sure if he should ask her sister out instead but like Dawson's not sure if he should go through with it. I mean FL. Has problems with dropping condoms into shoes (true [well not really since it implies that FL was having sex] story).
Everyone thinks an all-powerful necromantic vampire but is really just a goth. Currently attempting to find way out of wet paper bag, but is having problems. Luckily possesses telekinetic powers of persuasion, so maybe someone will help out eventually. Too bad the bags been pushed under a landfill in the ensuing period since it was entered. Will emerge from the bag as ruler over all that remains upon Earth a thousand years from now: zombies. Promptly devoured.
Secretly a 40 year old trucker and/or FBI agent.I mean, she's a girl on the internetz, which is automatically a falsity. Currently on a 20-hour run to deliver a load of frozen peas to Portland and/or tracking down Monks.
HAWT OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (Dammit, Link, quit hijacking my thread).
After escaping through the dimensional portal and crash landing into Game Over, she met like Sephiroth and Sonic the Hedgehog and Jiminy Cricket (wait, what's that doing there?) and saved the Multiverse from total destruction or something. That may not have happened but she's totally capable of doing it with her awesomeness. Currently attemping to grow a seed found in the basement, but unfortunately will find out it's just crabgrass after about two months. Seriously, who stockpiles crabgrass? It must be Lavos' doing (everything is Lavos' doing). Along with Baramos and Monks like the only person to play Mother 3, so she's currently superior to everyone.
SINISTER DARK LORD
In the sinister dark cold of the north, he conquers icy formations with zealous wrath, scaling fortresses of impregnity with ice blade in hand, battling the dreaded freezedrake and the hortconneldonhowler. Currently imagining himself doing this while flipping burgers. Be nice to him and he won't spit in your burger (semen in the mayonnaise is complementary and quite unstoppable, however).
AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY RPG REALM ADMINISTRATIVE TEAM:
EDIT: Forget you? Don't like it? Message me (I won't change anything but I like to get messages so I can reply to them with verbal abuse).